As I enjoy my adult years on this planet, it’s been really an exciting time looking back on the very many mistakes I’ve made along the way. Ok, well, maybe I wouldn’t describe that as exciting, but it is certainly valuable to look back and think about what I’ve learned in the previous years. As young leaders graduate from schools and prepare to take on the world, here are few things I wish I knew when I was struggling to adulthood:
1) It’s much better to live in the present than in the past or future.
As against misconceptions that might arise I am totally not against making references over experiences and be guided by them and also I am not against thinking and meditations on future plans too but I have come to see that living in the Past fills you with Regrets and get you depressed, while living in the future will put you in the states of Anxiety and in most instances amount to unrealistic expectations. This I know because I have been there. We really only have one choice, which is to live in the Present Moment, and to share that with family, friends and with others. So, limit your looking-back and looking-forward activities carefully, and for goodness sake, put your smartphone away sometimes.
2)The brain gets sharpened via constant Reading and Writing.
Almost everyone I know gets acquainted to watching television. Yes I do too. But today, I avoid getting addicted to watching television at all costs- it’s sensational, biased and depressing. I wish I hadn’t spent so many hours in my previous years watching as I did. Instead, I wished I’d spent that time reading and writing and watching specific programmes. Now, I read and write more than ever before, and it’s definitely made me a better thinker.
3) Listening is way better than Talking.
This is so counterintuitive, I know: If we want to get something, we think we need to talk our way into getting it most times. But really, the opposite is true: If we want to get something,we need to listen our way into it.As Aaron Burr says in”Talk less, smile more.” Pay attention to what your colleagues, friends and family really want. It’s more valuable to be interested than to be interesting.
4) Afraid? …Go on anyway because Courage is better.
Everyone feels fear. I’m afraid of so many things – which is ironic, because I’ve often been called “fearless.” But the important thing is to not let fear keeps you under. I was so afraid of rejection and failure before, it kept me from many things Instead, feel the fear and go for it anyway. That’s the definition of “courage”, by the way.
5) Keep Giving…… it keeps you up there.
I have quarrelled with my mum and lover specifically on my giving attitude. I came to the understanding of the prevalence Bible paradox “The way up is down”
When I was younger, I didn’t realize the way to abundance is to give of yourself, not to try to get as much as you can. Some of the most successful people I’ve met in the last 20 years are true givers: Falogbon Olufemi, Ayodeji Mathew Ajayi,James Altucher,Jim McCann. The universe is truly amazing in rewarding those you give of themselves.
6) Always Looking Good….
You’ve got to take care of yourself. No, not in a “me, first, get money” kind of way (See point 5). No, as my wife, business partner andfellow author Carrie Kerpenwrites,you’ve got to take care of your body.This has definitely been the hardest lesson for me over the past 20 years – the food-loving, partying-hard, sleep-skipping guy that I am. But I wish I realized at 21 how much more energy you can actually have from proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep, and limited caffeine, alcohol and drugs.
7) Gratitude is the best drug on the planet.
Which bring me to my last point:the best drug in the world is gratitude. It’s (usually) free and there are never any side-effects. Handwritten thank you cards, acts of kindness, gratitude lists – these are just a few ways to take your mood from bad to good, good to great, or great to ecstatic. Literally every time I’m down, I can take a hit of gratitude and feel better. You can too.
I love learning. In fact, I can’t wait to write the “7 Things I Wish I Knew at 40” in 10 years or so. In the meantime, those are the 7 things I wish I knew at 21. What are yours!…..